1. Dating is about checking each other out. Marriage is about accepting each other fully
Dating makes us skeptical by nature. It builds a habit of evaluating the other person based on their merits. You find yourself ask questions like, “Is this the best person for me?”, “How long should I put up with this?”, What’s going to be the easiest way to end this?” In many ways it’s a quest to see if their desirable qualities will outweigh their undesirable ones.
Besides, in dating you really only see the best 10% of each other. In marriage you have to learn how to fully accept the other 90%. (Side note: If the best 10% is already challenging, run for your life!)
2. Dating is about being happy. Marriage is about being committed.
As a result, when you are dating, anytime you are not happy the relationship comes into question. You say things like, “Maybe this isn’t working.”, “Maybe we should just take a break”, or “Maybe we should see other people.” This is a mindset that prepares you for divorce, not determination to stick with it when it gets tough..
3. Strong attraction is the basis for dating. Strong friendship is the basis for marriage!
Every hear the saying, “Opposites attract”? Sometimes we are attracted to our worst nightmare. And once you start dating it is impossible to go back to being “just friends.” But, when you are good friends first, it is easy to move into a great marriage. If you build great friendships you may just end up marrying your best friend.
4. Dating invites immorality. Marriage protects intimacy.
Ask yourself, “Does dating encourage sexual immorality or help me avoid it?” In the Old Testament, the consequence for premarital sex was marriage with opportunity for divorce – ever! (Deut. 22:28-29). The goal should be to get to marriage as a virgin.
5. Sexual intimacy in dating breaks your heart. Sexual intimacy in marriage unites your hearts.
Continued broken intimacy on decreases your capacity for intimacy. Dating is like going to the store without any money – you either leave unsatisfied or take something that doesn’t belong to you.
Covenant commitment is the currency of intimacy – You can’t have one without the other. People who say they are committed in a dating relationship don’t understand the difference between commitment and exclusiveness.
6. Dating isn’t mentioned in the Bible, neither is courting. So you are on your own.
There is no wisdom that God give you for engaging in a purely secular, culturally engineered relationship. Our modern version of dating is simply marriage without the commitment
7. Dating cheapens your view of marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
The real problem isn’t with our concept of dating; it is with our concept of marriage. We don’t hold marriage in high esteem any more. It’s a cheap relationship that can be discarded or upgraded as we feel like it. Dating puts marriage on the clearance rack in your heart.